Lord of the Rings and Les Miserables Crossover
by Saranacian Freak
Summary: Frodo Valjean: A Hobbit With A Past. Middle Earth will never be the same again. These are based on songs from the musical, so...enjoy!
1. At The End Of The Quest

At the end of the Quest we're another year older  
And we find ourselves once again at our doors  
It was a struggle, it was a war  
And there's nothing that anyone's saying,  
What are we so different about,  
What was it for?  
One year less to spend on living  
At the end of the Quest we're another year colder  
The fact that Sauron's gone doesn't keep out the chill  
Other hobbits hurry past  
They can never understand the pain inside  
And the winter is coming on fast,  
Ready to kill  
One year closer to dying  
At the end of all things it's another life dawning  
And the sun of our hope is waiting to rise  
And the waves still crash on the sand  
Just as if nothing had changed  
There's a hunger in our hearts  
And there is hell to pay  
At the end of all things  
At the end of the quest, we get nothing but nothing  
Sitting flat on our butts eating our old familiar bread  
And there are children now at home  
And sometimes we look into their eyes  
And we cry, for they'll never understand  
And we're lucky to be back at home  
In our own beds  
And we're counting our blessings  
Have you seen how Frodo is in pain today  
With his gasping breath and the wound in his chest  
It's because it's the anniversary of that horrible day  
Try and give him some comfort  
Hold onto his hands  
At the end of the quest it's another year over  
And enough in our souls now to last us a life  
And the wizard still visits  
And there's plenty of bread on the table  
And everything comes in your way  
At the end of all things  
And what have we here, poor innocent Samwise?  
Why is your heart so torn in two?  
Now your Master has left you, you will be behind here  
For years to come  
You must stay as one!  
What was the fighting all about?  
Why are our hearts so torn apart?  
What was the point in the end?  
Now come on back and settle down, this is a town of repute  
You'll be the mayor of the town  
In your heart you can sort this out  
And be as patient as you can  
It will not end where it began  
At the end of the day, He's the one who began it  
The Ring was hiding in Gollum's dark cave  
There was a great price he had to pay  
Now he is dead!  
And Frodo lost a finger  
Yes, it's true, the Ring's gone and Frodo destroyed it  
Though he had to have help from the Stinker  
Then he lived in Bag End all alone  
And wrote depressive poetry, what's the matter with that?  
At the end of the day, it was nothing but trouble  
There was trouble for all if there was trouble for one  
While they lived on lembas bread, Gollum preferred the butter  
Frodo was sent away to live with the elves  
And Sam's heart had Hell to pay  
At the end of the day  
I might have known that Sting could bite  
I might have known Gollum had teeth  
I might have guessed His little secret  
Ah, yes, the foolish Sauron  
Who never has his trousers on  
Oh, yes, I surely had no doubt  
He was a giant eyeball, looking about  
But when you are a giant eye  
It is quite easy then to die  
He was laughing at Frodo while He had His fun  
He'll never ever laugh again  
Frodo blew up his world  
Blew up his world real bad!  
Right, Dark Lord.  
On your way. 


	2. Little People

A/N: I don't know if Fanuidhol actually rhymes with hole..."It HAD to rhyme! Don't question a king's grammar!" - Larry the Cucumber  
  
They laugh at us, these men, just because we are small  
They laugh at us because we aren't a hundred feet tall  
We tell 'em there's a lot to learn down 'ere on the ground  
Middle Earth is big, but little people turn it around  
A worm can roll a stone  
A bee can sting a bear  
A fly can fly around, besides, flies don't care  
A sparrow in a hat  
Can make a happy hole  
A flea can make a martyr of anybody on Fanuidhol  
Sauron was quite evil and he lived in the sky  
But Frodo melted his ring and blew up his giant eye  
I never read the Red Book but I know it is true  
It only goes to show what little people can do  
A worm can roll a stone  
A bee can sting a bear  
A fly can fly around, besides, flies don't care  
A sparrow in a hat  
Can make a happy hole  
A flea can make a martyr of anybody on Fanuidhol  
So listen 'ere, you wizard with your head in the clouds  
It's often kinda useful to get lost in a crowd  
So keep your book learnin', I don't give a d**n  
For better or for worse it is the way that I am  
Be careful as you go, for little people grow  
And little people know  
When little people fight  
We may look easy pickin's but sure Sting does bite  
So never kick a dog  
Because he's just a pup  
You'd better run for cover when the pup grows up  
And we'll fight like fifty armies and we won't give up  
A worm can roll a stone  
A bee can sting a bear  
A fly can fly around, besides, flies don't care  
A sparrow in a hat  
Can make a happy hole  
A flea can make a martyr of anybody on Fanuidhol  
A flea can make a martyr of anybody on Fanuidhol 


	3. As A Friend

And now they're saying that we're gay again  
No alibi, no one to turn to  
I do not want your body, sir,  
I folow you 'cuz I am sworn to  
And now Mordor is near  
And now they'll make believe we're queer  
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night  
When you, my master, are sleeping  
With love my heart is leaping  
And then I go back to bed  
Because I don't want you, not even in my head  
As a friend, I'll always be beside you  
Never alone, I'll walk with you forever  
In a non-sexual way, I'll enjoy your arms around me  
And when you lose your way I'll be there,  
Always beside you  
In the rain, the mountains shine like silver  
While Gollum tries unsucessfully the Ring to pilfer  
In the darkness, the rocks are full of starlight  
And I say I will be your servant forever and forever  
And I know it's only in their minds  
And I'm really after Rosie, and not you  
And although I know that they are blind  
Still I'll say  
We're not gay at all  
I love you, but not the way they're saying  
It's insane, the way fanfiction abuses our love  
Without you, my world would never stand  
So cover your ears, for everywhere the streets are full of the lies of strangers  
I love you, but every day I'm learning  
All my life, I'll always be misunderstood  
Without you, my world would cease its turning  
A world that's full of happiness, but not the homosexual kind  
I love you  
I love you  
I love you  
But only as a friend 


End file.
